Somehow
by KlainesBowties
Summary: Kurt really, really wants to be over Blaine, it's just… how can he? Based off of the boyfriend pillow seen in the 4X17 promo. Mentions of Come What May but they aren't huge.


**AN: I wrote this in like an hour while watching big bang theory so it's not beta'd or anything. Ignore the bad grammar that I'm sure is there. Sorry I haven't updated WTRTS lately... Been busy and this is just a one shot so I didn't really have to put a lot of time into it (obviously) Sorry for the delay on WTRTS though :( But enjoy this. :) **

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I felt the warm arms around me, the hot breath against my neck, the soft kisses gently trailing at base of my neck; just like he knew I loved it. His hands gently rubbed at my abdomen, moving his hands under my pajama shirt to massage gently at my stomach. I laughed softly and turned around to face him.

"I thought we were going to sleep?" I whispered. All he did was chuckle and press a kiss to my cheek.

"Later," he whispered, trailing more kisses down my neck. It wasn't even in a sexual way; it was a sweet way, the way he'd occasionally chuckle with each kiss he pressed to my pale skin, the way his fingers never stopped their movements, the way he'd pull away from my neck long enough to whisper something cute and silly into my ear.

I let out a soft humming noise as his lips brushed against a soft spot on my neck. He smirked softly and tightened his grip on me. "Your skin is so soft," he whispered. "I love it."

I smiled and looked over at him a little to watch him continue kissing my neck. His lips felt so soft against my skin, his eyes so gently hazel, all his features were so soft and loving in that exact moment.

"I love you," I whispered, looking over to him. All he did was smile and continue to kiss me, the kisses becoming all the more soft and… distant. It was weird; usually when I said 'I love you,' he'd say, right away, that he loved me back or something incredibly dorky about loving me back. "Blaine?" I said his name gently, but he didn't respond. "Aren't you gonna say it back?"

His arms became suddenly less heavy around me; the kisses he was previously pressing to my skin were disappearing… _He_ was disappearing. "What's going on? Blaine?"

Just like that he was gone. One moment wrapped around me, securely holding me. One moment I was safe, nothing was hurting. I felt whole. The next moment I was alone.

"Blaine?" I jerked awake, staring out into my room. It was empty, completely empty. The pillow that was once wrapped around me fell off and to the empty, constantly made side of the bed. I looked over at it, just laying there.

"Fuck you," I whispered to it, which was useless, considering it was a _fucking pillow. _"Goddammit, _fuck you!"_ I screamed, picking up the pillow that was once wrapped around me. I threw it across the room, watching it hit the wall and bounce to the floor. I didn't care that Rachel and Santana could most likely hear my screaming; all I cared about was that _fucking_ dream. I cupped my face in my hands and took a deep breath.

_ I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. I'm not going to cry. _

I repeated the five words over and over into my hands until it registered with my brain. None of it made sense. Blaine and I had been broken up for six months, s_ix months,_ and I still wasn't over him. I should be over him. It would make sense being over him; he cheated on me, he broke my heart and basically made me second guess everything about our relationship for longer than I'd like to admit.

I shook my head. _No. _I wasn't letting this affect me. God, I couldn't. I couldn't let myself be upset about him anymore. I picked up my phone and looked at the time: _3:42am._ I blinked and rubbed my eyes before looking at the date. March fifteenth.

_Screw not crying. _I laid down back in bed, pulling the covers up to my chin and started to flip through my phone. I looked back to some of the earlier pictures I had on my phone, pictures of Blaine and myself. We were holding hands in the choir room, cuddled up together on my bed, kissing goofily at that park across the street from my house; there were so many pictures of the two of us. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip to suppress a sob.

Memories of the last time we were together, at Mr. Shue's catastrophe of a wedding, the way he somehow made everything perfect, even if I'm sure it wasn't his exact intentions. Everything was perfect, even if we were just friends… _Fuck, _we weren't just friends. We'd never be just friends. Not after everything we'd been through. Not after that _stupid_ dream, not after the way I'd imagined us singing our wedding song to each other; I had to face it, there was no way we'd ever be just friend. I took a deep breath and picked up my phone again, pulling up his number.

_I know it's late, and it's Thursday so I'm sure you're asleep… but I can't sleep and I can't stop thinking about you. I love you. God, I love you so much. I just don't know how to love you right now. –K_

I read over the text and let out a deep breath before pressing the send button. I let out the breath I'd been holding and closed my eyes, hoping I'd at least be able to cry myself to sleep tonight. Just when I was about to drift off to sleep, my phone buzzed.

_You know I'll wait for you to figure this… whatever the hell this is… out. I love you, Kurt. I love you more than anything in the world. Sweet dreams, baby… And happy anniversary. –B_

I smiled softly and hugged my phone to my chest before closing my eyes; I had no idea what was going to happen to us. All I knew was that I loved him and he loved me. All I could hope for was that everything else would just… work itself out somehow.

_Somehow_.


End file.
